In a world that’s constantly changing every second is different from the last, leaving very little time to adjust in between transitions. The earth is constantly turning, the wind changes direction with every breath and time melts down into a puddle that we can view but not touch. Life is broken down into segments and you never know when you’ve finished one and are about to start another until you’re thrown in head first. Some segments are more distinguishable, things end with a clean edge and you can slot it into your memory, a perfect fit with no uncomfortable dents or rips. But some things stay with you, live with you side by side and feature in the stream of thoughts that we all have, the thoughts that never leave except in the watery trenches of sleep. Like the grains of sand that line my bed sheets after a day at the beach, the feeling I get when I’m with you will be hard to brush away.
I’m messy, misguided, painfully insecure and utterly tireless and somehow you managed to harness it slightly and tuck in the lose ends; like a shit Ikea bathroom mat that could do with replacing but you like the colours so you keep it anyway. Life takes on a different meaning after being with you, the frosted window through which I look at it becomes a kaleidoscope of possibility which is ironic due to the trapping nature of the situation. And although I feel hollow and I wish my time with you was endless, I simultaneously feel full to the brim with everything you have fuelled me with.
A lesson I’ve learned is that no matter how obscure and isolated you feel there will always be someone that is intrigued by you. Your pallet of colours will appeal to someone and despite the negative binding in which your mind traps you, there will be people who will loosen it whether that be permanently or fleeting. When you give your care and your time to another person you are growing the minds of both and nothing is more precious than progression. It’s strange to feel gratitude towards someone for changing your life, but as we are so limited with the words we can choose from to describe our emotions it’s best to just hope that the other person knows without anything needing to be said. Life is for gobbling up as much as you possibly can and caring none for table manners. Be a good person, cry when you’re sad and love others with ferocity. Let people show you how great it can be.
I feel as though I’m walking down a silent path in a forest lined with leaves the shade of fire. And although I’m galaxies away from everyone else and my steps are the only noise I can hear, I feel like you’re there. From the parts of me that have never seen the sun, thank you for opening the curtains and letting the light flood in.