When Aristotle was asked ‘What is a friend?’ he answered that it was ‘A single soul dwelling in two bodies’. Phythagora said ‘Friends are companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life.’ Seneca pitched in with ‘Friendships always benefits, love sometimes injures.’
I never really had any proper friends while I was growing up. When your mum is friends with other mums from the school and you hang out with their kids, it’s easy, all you have to do is show up and your already companions, it requires literally no effort. But when your parents aren’t into the parenting scene you are left to your own devices to make pals- and for some reason I was never any good at it. I always talked to everyone yes, but it wasn’t until I was fourteen or so that I actually had a good little group going- but even then it was lacklustre.
I have always envied those with true friendships. I have always been lucky in love and boyfriends have come relatively easy, but I always found that throughout my relationships there was one relationship I desired more- and that was the classic partner-in-crime, sister-like bond you get with your girls. I would watch Angus Thongs And Perfect Snogging and Wild Child and I would always feel a little emptiness in my stomach, a twist of envy at these girls and their fun, tight knit friendships and I’d look at my boyfriends with grim disappointment that they couldn’t provide me with this type of love. I didn’t want their love. Well I mean I did, obviously, but what I craved so desperately was the type love I’d never experienced, the love of a true kindred spirit.
Then finally one of my disappointing boyfriends (I’m brutal sorry) did something NOT so disappointing and introduced me to my first lady love. Since then my life has been filled with bursts of colour and happiness, more girls joining in to create a love more powerful than any man has ever given me. We are all single in my immediate group and I’ve spoken with a few of them recently about how although we have desires to meet a man our desires for tight friendships with our girls are more imminent. We have all agreed that the bubbly feeling of happiness we get during a dinner with our friends is like no other, and it continues to surprise me just how much of an impact a few hours with supportive friends can completely reboot your mindset.
I thank God every day for my girls. I thank them for the positions they are willing to put themselves in for a good picture, I thank them for their frankness and honesty, I thank them for their equal desire to eat oneself around London. I thank them for moaning when their jeans are tight and for forgetting to go to the gym as it makes me feel like my world isn’t quite crashing down around me when I put on a bit of weight.
I thank them for being hideously shallow and judgemental when it comes to men, with their fowl mouths and hilarious stories- our whatsapp chat being like a filthy rugby changing room when it comes to swapping tales. I thank them for always being up for bevs, but for also being up for movies and tea, I thank them for always saying yes to booking random holidays even though we are always too busy and poor and it never actually happens. But most of all I thank them for their constant support, kind words and motivating speeches, you all make me so very happy.