When you look at it, it’s funny how little variety there is when it comes to the way in which we live our lives. There are 195 countries compromising of endless amounts of cultures, traditions and many different variations of quality of life. Yet it seems that no matter your walk of life the wants and needs of the majority of humanity fall into three categories. Education, career/money, love/family. These three things seem to be the ultimate unwritten desires that occupy the hearts of mostly everyone on the planet. They aren’t unreasonable demands and they are necessary for everyday living and existence, they are also linked together in what I like to call a triangle of balance, for if you are deficient in one of these sectors then the other two parts will slowly begin to fail. For example, if you are well educated it makes it easier to achieve success with a career- but you are working so hard that your love life is failing then sooner or later this will wear you down and that will in turn affect your performance at work.
The same for if you are happy with someone who you love very much and devote the majority of your time too, but who perhaps has a more successful career. There will be an imbalance because eventually you will begin to feel like you should be making more use of your time and efforts, showing the world what you can do. The standard life cannot and will not work without a rough balance between these three areas- however it is a perfect balance that most of us will spend our entire lives trying to obtain but that the majority will never find. Although the crucial secret ingredient is which third you allow to lead the way, which third you choose to prioritize while you continue your search for this ‘perfect balance.’
It’s always interesting to me that as humans we spend our times on earth so similarly to each other. As though there was a manual on ‘how to live correctly’ that we are all given and told to follow as closely as we can. The world is filled with thousands of possibilities and opportunities, so many in fact that you could try something new every single day of your life be it a hobby, a food, a language, a craft… there are different landscapes to traverse, starry skies to look at, animals to admire. And most importantly, there are millions of people who’s minds and thoughts are all unique to them and, like open books, are there to be explored and read should we take the time to learn. There is sooo much room for growth that it makes me anxious to think that there won’t have enough time to explore everything and meet everyone, that there might be someone who could teach or show me something so incredible, but I might never make it to the particular place in order to find out, just something I will have to learn to except.
But it is funny. It’s funny that the majority of us will stay or return to the town or country we grew up in, that we will remain with the same circle of friends. We will have the same interests we’ve had since our teen years, we’ll eat the same meals and watch the same TV shows and have the same discussions over and over again about how Monday’s suck and thank God it’s the weekend. How, in a world that thrives on diversity, did we all end up on the same stretch of well-trodden, monotonous gravel that leads to the same destination. A place where in the grand scheme of things, everything that we actively participated in throughout our short lives, for the most part, disappears like a wisp of smoke for the whole of eternity.
There is no correct or incorrect way to spend your time here on earth. As said before there is the triangle of balance that is needed in order to live, but as long as you are a good person, a whole-hearted, loving person you are free to walk about this world doing whatever it is that makes you happy. There is no manual. There was no one waiting at the entrance of your mums legs directing you a certain way and there will be no one at the end telling you that you went the wrong way. To grow up, to go to university, to study and get a career, to make money and buy a property, to marry and settle, to retire and die, that is just ONE way of doing it. That is just one way out of thousands of beautiful ways you can spend your time, if you choose to. But if you do choose another route, if you choose to devote all your time to your religion, to pack it all in and become a dancer, to open up an ice cream shack on a tiny island and sleep on a bed of sand- then you must never feel like you are living the wrong way. No matter whether your parents disappointment burns your skin like a blue flame, if society erodes you like acid rain. If your boss or managers patronize you, if your friends oust you for your different decisions. If you are HAPPY and CONTENT in the way you are living then you are WINNING at life, you are living CORRECTLY. And if you ever feel lost, if you feel under pressure or like you are drowning in a sea of people who seem to have their shit together and who are reaching for the stars, then take off your shoes, lie back and gaze at the constellations because as long as you are seeing the light and your soul is alive then you have nothing to worry about.
Don’t let anybody ever make you feel like you are less for the choices you make in this life time. Listen to your heart and the rest will follow.